Are You Focusing on the Wrong Thing… Again?
If you’re a woman in your 30s and have spent years thinking that thinner is better, restricting and then overdoing it with food, and trying to “burn it off” with endless cardio or Insanity workouts with Shaun T—you’re in the right place. Trust me, I know the cycle: you lose some weight, feel good for a bit, then slip back into old habits, and think, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just stay consistent?” The frustration is real, and you’re not alone.
Maybe it was easier in our 20s, but now that we’re in our 30s, things are different. Our bodies respond differently, and the years of yo-yo dieting are catching up. It’s not that there’s something wrong with you—it’s that the approach was wrong from the start. The old methods—starvation, restriction, cardio overload, eating all of the wrong foods—are misaligned with what your body actually needs to thrive. No wonder it feels terrible and you can’t keep it up!
I know you don’t want to feel hungry all the time, battle mood swings, cravings, and lose your patience. You want health, vitality, strength, confidence, and real happiness. And I’m here to hopefully help you start with the right foot this time, so you can finally break the cycle and achieve the goals you’ve always envisioned.
The Mindset Shift You Need
The truth is that there are many ways to lose fat, and I could throw a list of diet and workout tips at you, but that’s not what I do or what this post is about. Before any of that, we need to talk about mindset. This is the foundation—the preparation phase that should come before the action and planning.
Here’s why all those meal plans, diets, and detoxes haven’t worked: they’re focused on the surface, not the root cause. The real transformation starts with shifting your mindset to:
“I Deserve to Be Healthy, Strong, and Confident.”
Most of us women live our lives in service to others, often putting everyone else’s needs before our own. We mold our actions to fit societal expectations or what we’ve been told is “the right thing to do.” But the truth is that you can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to nurture yourself first, and this might be a controversial ideal, but it is the truth.
Once you believe you deserve success, you start taking actions that align with that belief. This is the key! If you don’t truly believe you deserve health, strength, and confidence, you’ll keep sabotaging your progress, once again.
You deserve to feel good. You deserve health, vitality, and happiness. You deserve to reach your goals and live a life that feels aligned with who you are and what you want. It’s time to reclaim that for yourself.
Why Being Smaller Isn’t the Goal—Aligning Your Mindset with Your Values
For years, we’ve been chasing a goal of being “less”—less weight, less food, less volume. But that’s a mindset of scarcity. Let’s flip the script: what if your goal was to be more? More energy, more health, more happiness.
When you shift your mindset from “I need to be smaller” to “I deserve to be strong, healthy, and vibrant,” everything changes. You start focusing on adding nourishing foods, fueling your body, and doing things that truly align with your values.
This is about defining what you want for your life—what lights you up, what makes you feel alive. Once we clarify those values, we can build a plan that feels right for you. It’s not about what society wants you to be—it’s about what you want for yourself.
When you start living by those values, the actions you need to take become easier and more natural. You’re not fighting against yourself anymore—you’re finally in alignment and the inner fight can stop.
Building Habits That Match Your Deserved Outcome
Now that you’re aligned with what truly matters to you, it’s time to build habits that support long-term success. This is where strength training, balanced nutrition, and prioritizing self-care (like exercising, stress management, etc.) come in. When these actions are driven by your core values, consistency becomes much easier.
Consistency is the magic ingredient. Without it, you’ll struggle to see progress. But when your actions align with your values, consistency doesn’t feel forced—it flows naturally. And when challenges come up (because they will), you’ll be more resilient because you’ve built a strong foundation in your “why.”
Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Embracing the Ups and Downs
Challenges are inevitable, but mindset isn’t just about motivation—it’s about resilience. When you believe you deserve success, setbacks become part of the learning process, not a reason to quit.
Self-compassion is key here. You’re going to have ups and downs, and that’s okay. The goal is to learn from those moments, keep moving forward, and always return to that place of knowing you deserve better.
As a health coach, I’m here to help you navigate those challenges with ease. I’ll equip you with tools to handle the tough moments and keep you on track. Remember, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about progress and believing that you’re worth it every step of the way.
Embrace the Shift—Start Believing You Deserve It
The bottom line is that real change starts from within. If you’re stuck in that old cycle, I challenge you to start shifting your mindset today. This is the first step toward creating lasting change and finally reaching your health and fitness goals in a way that feels good and sustainable.
Take a moment after this blog post, and watching the video above to write down three to five affirmations about how you deserve health, happiness, and strength. Say them out loud, write them down daily (it can take as little as 2 minutes) and watch how this mindset shift transforms your journey.
Thanks so much for reading! My mission is to help women like you reach their health and fitness goals so you can finally become the healthy, vibrant, and energetic person you’ve always wanted to be. If this message resonated with you, I’d be grateful if you shared it with friends or family who could benefit from it too. Together, we can spread the message of sustainable health and empower more women to live their best lives!
Ready to Shift Your Mindset?
For more support, check out my FREE 3-Day Video Program, designed to help you get started on a healthier, more sustainable path.
References:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5836039
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10874242
https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-023-01470-2
